Rihanna Is Satan’s Tool & Other Illuminati Nonsense

On March 28, 2013 by Tim Newman

Rhianna - Evil Devil Spawn - Satan Illuminati Slave - Michael Jackon

If you’re reading this article, that means you have access to the internet, and, as such, you will be no stranger to the terms ‘Illuminati’ and ‘New World Order.’

These words are no so common that, whether you’re an expert, a dabbler, or neither, you’ll know what they mean, at least vaguely. Images of secretive men with near-infinite control might spring to mind.

Now, I don’t know whether there is a group of shadowy men controlling the world behind the scenes. Although it’s worth noting that there are plenty of shadowy men hanging around in plain sight in parliament and banks etc.

So, maybe there are more in the woodwork that we’ll never see. That’s something I can’t know. But what I do know for sure is that there are some people on the internet who add 2 and 2 together and get a pickled lizard.

The Music Industry Exposed

I watched a documentary yesterday called ‘Illuminati – The Music Industry Exposed,’ here’s the link, but I suggest you only watch a couple of minutes because it’s pretty outlandish, annoying, and a whole hour long.

In a nutshell, the film makers posit that the music industry is controlled by the Illuminati and that these evil people control pop artists. Among other things, they make singers put hidden messages in their songs and videos.

The documentary points out common phrases in songs and explains why they’re “evil.” It’s like a modern-day Satanic Panic — where morons played The Beatles backwards and decided they were Satanic.

Rihanna is Satans Tool - Illuminati - Rain Man Symbol In Video

Who’s Rain Man?

Here’s one example from the recent documentary: rappers use the phrase ‘rain man’ quite a bit, and apparently, this is worrisome. To many, including me and all sane people, that’s a pretty innocuous thing to say. It might refer to weather, to showering gifts and money, or to the movie character.

However, the documentary creator read into it a lot deeper. He explains that the ‘rain man’ is a name for a demon, and that when artists and fans repeat those two words and encourage crowds to do synchronised hand gestures and motions, they are somehow powering an evil demonic force.

The purpose of this is to overpower God and take power away from him. And why do this? Not sure, maybe money and fame? I don’t know. Total control I would guess.

Rhianna and Baphomet

On another website that slams Rihanna as a Satanist, they present the same picture as above, but compare it to Baphomet. Can you see any likeness below? It’s a bit of a stretch, isn’t it?


The author also brings up a Tweet that Rihanna sent months ago, which if anything, kind of proves she’s not really that into Satan…

Rihanna Satan Tweet Illuminati

According to conspiracy buffs, however, the fact that she’s calling Satan by his name means that she’s in cahoots with him.


Turning agains the Illuminati

The video goes on to talk about artists in the rap/pop business. It talks about how they have “sold their soul to the devil,” then got fame and cash as loyal servants of the illuminati.

They also tell tales of how, once these artists have realised that they don’t want to be run by the dark lord anymore, it can go wrong.

As they turn against the industry, the industry either sets them up to be arrested for minor offences, like DMX, or, more extreme still, they have them killed as they did Tupac and Michael Jackson.

Rihanna - Devil Spawn - Illuminati - I EAT BABIES

Why Rhinna?

For some reason, the documentarians take a particular disliking to Rhianna. She really has been tarred with the devil stick good and proper.

This lot are all about symbolism and hidden meanings. They think that the illuminati are putting their mark on things, showing endless clips of “hidden iconography” in pop videos and photo shoots.

Why would a secret society put its mark everywhere? Their argument is that if they “hide in plain sight,” they will become part of the mainstream and be accepted. But why would a secret society want to advertise itself on a medium that gets viewed by millions if they really are secret and powerful already? What’s in it for them?

Well, it goes back to the classic evil versus good battle. They are demonic, so they want to overpower and “embarrass” God. They say that the Illuminati infiltrated the church many moons ago. They argue that that’s why the church introduced the crucifix to Christian ideology — purely to mock God.

Who would want their followers to wear a necklace with their dying son on, right? And that’s why so many rappers wear crucifixes, of course.

Pop - Illuminati Iconography - Mason Pyramid Eye

Surprisingly, there was no mention of black metal bands, who sing about demons all the time. Is it ok when it’s so blatant? Is it only dangerous if the message is hidden?

It’s all rot.

Illuminati collection 2

The madness of numerology

Illuminati “experts” also love banging on about numerology. For instance, they come up with every single possible way of forming the number 11 from events that occured on 9/11. (Here’s a link to a good example of numbers gone mad in relation to the September 11th incident).

According to them, numbers themselves have power. I defy anyone to show me any power derived from simple addition and subtraction.

They don’t just believe that numbers tell us how or why things happen, they genuinely think that numbers themselves have physical and psychical powers.

Rihanna Is Satans Tool - Illuminati Nonsense - Video Still Full

Finding patterns

The moral of the story is, if you look hard enough, you will find patterns (see picture above). It’s the nature of stuff, and it’s the nature of our brains to weave meaning into things.

The people who make these videos aren’t idiots, they’re looking hard at things and when a pattern shows itself, they will drill down until that pattern is so entrenched in their own psyche that they can no longer deny it to be a reality.

If you find a pattern, it might be real, but it might be for many reasons, and it probably isn’t for the first reason you thought of. Or, you might have made the pattern up yourself, your brain whirring like a slipped disc trying to suck sense out of the millions of data points it’s fed every second.

Without pattern-finding, we wouldn’t have left the savannah. But today, our brains are bombarded with so much information, that they can hardly take a millionth in.

We must forgive our crumbling minds for making errors. Indeed, we should expect there to be errors. We need to question our conclusions thoroughly with good old-fashioned stats rather than selective Google searches and stoned conversations with like-minded pattern-recognisers.

She doesn’t do herself any favours with photo shoots like this, though…

Rihanna Medusa Devil Eyes

…or this image of her being possessed by a demon…

Disturbia - Rihanna posessed

On the other hand, why would Rhianna want people to stop thinking she was a mad demon possessed Illuminati songstress? I imagine the record execs that dress her up in all this garb are loving the free press they’re getting.

On another site, I found the following images drawing similarities between Kubrick’s Clockwork Orange film, Rihanna’s “You Da One” video, and a masonic lodge. The masonic lodge in the top right looks quite impressive. Apparently the chequered floor symbolises a fusion of opposites.

I mean, Rihanna is dressed up as the Clockwork Orange character, but he’s just that, a character. Does that really mean she is a rapist and murderer following Satan’s rule?

Rihanna Clockwork Orange Masonic

These guys are obsessed with her being evil, and there’s nothing you can do to stop that it.

Case in point: here’s a 10-minute clip where a guy called Lenon Honor shows us how Rihanna’s video for the chirpy pop hit “Umbrella” is actually about rape and demon possession, and features a representation of Rain Man himself. I wouldn’t bother watching all of it but it is strangely mesmerizing…

And just to round things off nicely, in psychological circles it is now pretty well established that subliminal messages don’t really work. So, even if the Illuminati are trying to bombard us with symbolism, it probably won’t work anyway.

Here’s a video of my take on the matter:





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