Loch Ness Monster: Latest News

On May 2, 2014 by Tim Newman

Loch Ness Monster - squid

Do you believe in the Loch Ness monster? If you’re anything like me you’ll say out loud “not really… but it might be possible I suppose” and inside your tiny brain your neurons will scream “I BELIEVE I BELIEVE IN NESSIE! SHOW ME PHOTOS I WANT IT TO BE REAL AAAAAGGGHHHH!!! DINOSAURS!!!”

I’m assuming my response puts me in the minority, but I do not care. You have to admit that finding a prehistoric animal in a Scottish lake would be way beyond awesome. In Papa New Guinea there are reports of so-called ‘ropens’ which are claimed to be pterosaurs. So why not have a British dinosaur? Yeah?

I’m not a push over as far as evidence is concerned though so I remain a disappointed and reluctant skeptic. The Loch Ness monster is yet to reveal himself (or herself) convincingly.

Recently there have been a couple of strands of Loch Ness monster semi-evidence appear, and in case you’ve missed them I thought it best to bring them to your attention. The first comes in the form of a sonar read out taken on board one of Jacobite Cruises’ vessels.

Loch Ness Monster - Sonar Jacobite Cruises

The picture itself means little to me because my salty sea legs are inadequate to understand marine sonar read outs. I apologise. But the response of the seasoned skipper is more telling; he said:

The Jacobite Queen spends every day sailing up and down the loch with the sonar on and this reading is the most unusual we have seen for quite some time.

Apparently it shows a huge shape that followed behind the boat for a few minutes. There’s nothing in the lake long enough or fat enough to account for the read out. I’M SOLD. Well, partially.

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On the other hand, some boring meddlers at some scientific body or other say it might be some kind of large cloud of microscopic creatures or something. I have chosen to ignore that. I have also chosen to ignore the fact that the report came from a pleasure boat company at the beginning of tourist season.

OK, OK so the strength of the sonar evidence is perhaps a little dodgy, and the scientists have their own ideas but get a load of this next snap. It was taken by Mr Google as part of his all-encompassing Google Maps fandango. Someone found it by chance and sent it into a Nessie enthusiast, up the excitement levels shot. What do you reckon?:

Loch Ness Monster - Google Map Boat Wake

Unfortunately this seems to have been debunked too. Many believe it’s the wake of a boat. Google has a tendency to remove images of “personal” things and property so they may have obscured the boat itself and just left its trail.

How disappointing all round.

Trust Russia to do it better. Here’s a video of their version of the Loch Ness monster. A pink and fearsome beast rises from the icy lake:

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