PROOF: Jay-Z Is An Immortal Vampire

“Jay-Z-02-mika” by Mikamote – Own work. Licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0 via Wikimedia Commons.

Did you know Jay-Z was a time travelling vampire? It was news to me until recently, but now it seems so obvious! This gem came to light a couple of years ago when New York Public Library’s Schomburg Centre for Research in Black Culture posted a photo on their Tumblr of a bloke who looked a bit like Jay-Z.

Look:

Ever the Black Lestat, olden days Jay-Z certainly had swag. You only have to glance at some of his album titles to see that he’s been teasing the world with these clues for years. With titles like In My Lifetime, The Best Of Both Worlds, Don’t Let Me Die, Young Forever and Encore, it’s hard to deny that Mr Z is permanently eluding to the fact that he’s been around for centuries.

Time travel has never really stuck with me. Although debatably scientifically sound in theory, I’ve always thought time travel would’ve happened by now… or then, which would be now… Immortal vampires, on the other hand, seem perfectly reasonable.

Illuminati time-travellers and celebrity doppelgangers isn’t a new or uncommon theory, but where did the vampire part come in? In their post about the time traveller/vampire in question, Illuminatiwatcher.com lob the vampire theory in quite ungracefully:

“It’s kind of interesting because David Icke always talks about how the Illuminati, Freemasons, et. al. are all just energy vampires (hence the pyramids, all seeing eyes, etc. in the videos).”

What on earth has that got to do with Jay-Z being a time traveller? Either:

a) Jay-Z travelled back in time to research the soundtrack he wrote for The Great Gatsby,

b) It’s a total coincidence that the man captured in this photo from 1939 looks a bit like Jay-Z, or

c) Jay-Z is an immortal vampire employed by the Illuminati to sweep their chimney in 1939 and spread their devil worshipping mind control with his lyrical bombz throughout the 1990s, 2000s and 2010s.

I’ll take the latter. Proof enough for you?: