I hate reviewing albums and gigs. I mean who cares what I think or say about music? No one, that’s who. My opinion is no more valid than anyone else’s, if anything my opinion is slightly less valid because I already like Sea Bastard, and the people in them, so I’m biased right from the starting blocks to the finishing line.
Beauty (and repulsion) is in the ear of the beholder. So I will keep this review short and sour. Here it is:
“Sea Bastard = Brighton sludge lords. Their new album is great. But what did you expect?”
So, I’m glad we got that out of the way. Now you can have a listen to it yourself and make your own mind up, you are a grown up after all. If you’re not a fan of doom or sludge or shouting or misery then you probably shouldn’t bother, but I’d still buy a T-shirt if I were you, the chicks will dig it.
This is Sea Bastard’s third offering and you can have a cyber chew on all three of them through the Sea Bastard band camp, which I recommend doing. But like I say, make your own mind up you lazy loafers. I can’t do all of the work, I’ve already done the hoovering today so I certainly haven’t got time to try and convince you that a great band is great.
Play it here, right now if you’ve got a mo?:
Whilst you’re listening to that, here’s some two sentence horror stories to keep you in the mood (PS I didn’t write them, I nicked them off of the internet):
I begin tucking him into bed and he tells me, “Daddy check for monsters under my bed.” I look underneath for his amusement and see him, another him, under the bed, staring back at me quivering and whispering, “Daddy there’s somebody on my bed.”
Don’t be scared of the monsters, just look for them. Look to your left, to your right, under your bed, behind your dresser, in your closet but never look up, she hates being seen.
It sat on my shelf, with thoughtless porcelain eyes and the prettiest pink doll dress I could find. Why did she have to be born still?
There was a picture in my phone of me sleeping. I live alone.
You get home, tired after a long day’s work and ready for a relaxing night alone. You reach for the light switch, but another hand is already there.
Nurse’s Note: Born 7 pounds 10 ounces, 18 inches long, 32 fully formed teeth. Silent, always smiling.