Decapitated Deer Remains Left In Saffron Walden Tesco

What a headline. Apparently, on the 4th June, someone unusual visited a Tesco store in Saffron Walden at 1:20 am.

Staff later found a deer’s head at the self service counter and a small collection of bloody entrails in one of the aisles. The motive is unclear and so far they have no leads. It’s not been confirmed whether there is CCTV footage, but I really hope there is.

Who takes bits of dead animals into Tesco? Unless, of course, they are pre-wrapped in clingfilm or bread crumbed. Apparently, Tesco have had to get the store professionally cleaned at a cost of £300.

My theory is that a hunter had hunted a deer, shot it, killed it, gone to the pub for a few celebratory pints, felt peckish, nipped to the shop for a Ginsters cheese and onion pasty and a bag of prawn cocktail crisps, dropped some guts from his bag in the aisle by mistake, then accidentally left the head where he was paying. Simple as that. Poor guy is probably gutted that he can’t get the head mounted now.

I fear we never hear the conclusion. Oh well, their prices always have been a bit “DEER”. Or, as the Daily Mail put it – “HOW OFFAL”.

BREAKING NEWS:

Finally we have found out who the culprit is. CLICK HERE FOR THE SOLUTION TO THE DECAPITATED TESCO DEER MYSTERY