An Innovative Relaxation Technique: The Scenic Wee

On May 2, 2011 by Tim Newman

Scenic Wee - Relax

Sometimes we all struggle to relax, we have things on our mind that we can’t shift. Whether it’s an impending sense of doom due to another day at the office, or an unrelenting unrequited love.

Everyone needs help trying to calm down sometimes.

There are many ways to achieve relaxation, some more effective than others. For instance, many people choose herbal remedies, or “placebos” as they’re more accurately known.

Other people will choose a swift pint or nine, and that works, but it’s not a long-term solution.

Below, I will describe a first-class, drug-free method of relaxation: THE SCENIC WEE.

Let me explain. In this technique, I use two natural relaxation methods and run them in tandem for an unparalleled sense of serenity, unsurpassed, I believe, since the dawn of civilization.

Some time ago, I was talking to a 7-year-old child, we were discussing urination. A fairly standard topic in males, young and old.

I asked the boy what he thought about having a wee, and his answer was as dramatic and mind-opening as it was simple, he said “it’s relaxing.”

And he’s spot on, it is wonderfully relaxing, but we take it for granted because, so often, it’s carried out in a windowless, dank room in a rush or with other things on our minds.

So what’s the best way to really maximize the good vibes that a wazz produces?: Take it outdoors.

But not just anywhere, a street corner is uninspiring, and the threat of being caught will negate any upbeat feelings that the tinkle will induce.

Take it to the countryside, get away from it, position yourself with a beautiful vista and just let go. Stare off in to the middle distance and open your bladder.

A beautiful view will always make the soul fly, and when experienced in tandem with a relaxed bladder, boy oh boy, is it relaxing. You do the math. Here are a couple of examples, enjoy:

This expulsion was up in the wilds of Scotland, scenic wee territory extraordinaire:

This was filmed at the enchanting Cuckmere Haven:


I have had the good fortune to practice this all around the world, and I hope you enjoy what I have taught you today.

I’m afraid to say that this method does not work for the ladies, the crouching position they must adopt means that true relaxation cannot occur.

Here’s one more for the road:

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