Top 3 Taylor Swift Conspiracy Theories

On February 9, 2020 by Lazer Horse

Taylor Swift is one of the most bland creatures in the music world. In an effort to boost interest levels, people with nothing better to do have spawned a dizzying array of conspiracy theories.

Of course, nowadays, if you are a successful pop musician, you are automatically considered to be a member of the Illuminati. That’s a given. In this regard, Swift has done herself no favours.

The illuminati absolutely love numerology – finding meaning in numbers that, quite frankly, does not exist. Swift loves the number 13 and, of course, that’s an evil number and has got Illuminati lovers hot under the collar; in an interview, Swift said:

“I was born on the 13th. I turned 13 on Friday the 13th. My first album went gold in 13 weeks. My first #1 song had a 13-second intro. Every time I’ve won an award I’ve been seated in either the 13th seat, the 13th row, the 13th section or row M, which is the 13th letter.”

Apparently Kanye West brought her into the Illuminati fold, so that’s worth remembering.

It’s hardly worth mentioning the fact that people think she’s in the Illuminati though, so here are three better theories.

First up:

Swift Has No Belly Button

NY Mag published an article in 2014 titled “There’s no proof that Taylor Swift has a belly button.” Although not written in a way that anyone should take seriously, the idea took off.

Playing to the maddening crowd, Swift said the following in an interview:

“I don’t like showing my belly button. When you start showing your belly button then you’re really committing to the midriff thing. I only partially commit to the midriff thing–you’re only seeing lower rib cage. I don’t want people to know if I have one or not.”

But then this photo came out on Instagram in 2015 and the whole thing collapsed. (except… Photoshop is a thing… soooooo…. who knows?)

Swift Is A Reincarnated Satanist

This is my favourite one, of course. Some people are asking whether Taylor Swift is the reincarnation (or clone) of the famous Satanist, Zeena Schrek (LaVey).

Zeena was the high priestess of the Church of Satan. Because the word “Satan” appears here, the Illuminati guff machine has got itself excited about the idea of a cloned Satanist perverting their children’s iPods.

I have no time to research this theory in any detail so, for now, I will assume it is correct.

The only minor details that stand in this theory’s way is that she doesn’t actually look like Schrek, reincarnation isn’t real, and you can’t clone animals that survive as long as Swift has.

Taylor Has An Evil Japanese Twin

OK, so we’ve established that she’s in cahoots with Satan, so is it any surprise that she has an evil twin who lives in Japan? No it is not. If anything, it’s all starting to make a lot more sense.

So where did this theory come from? Where else, a McDonalds advert. Here’s her red-haired twinster:

Yep, that’s not her, so it must be her twin AND because her hair is red and her facial expression is moody, she must be evil. FACT.

People have theorized that Taylor banished this evil twin to Japan so that she didn’t interfere with her career. Ha ha. That’s a good one, right?

OK, well, there we go. I’m glad I decided to only cover three conspiracy theories, because they have done me in. I’m tired. Here are a couple I could not be bothered to explain in more detail:

She visits the gym but never actually exercises, her legs are insured for $4 million, she is gay, there is a secret album that never got released, and she only ever carries around an empty handbag,

MORE CONSPIRACY THEORIES:

TUPAC WAS/IS ILLUMINATI

WHO WERE THE REAL ILLUMINATI?

RHIANNA IS ILLUMINATI

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